Sometimes things happen lightning fast. Like my recent wedding. We were engaged and married within two months. Did someone shout shotgun?
Here are my tips for not having a meltdown along the way. Although I can’t profess to complete calm whilst navigating our nuptial planning.
1. First up, it’s your day, forget the rest.
This is a biggy. BUT you really have to follow your heart and forget other people’s opinions, sensitivities, convention or conformity. As a people-pleaser this was a real challenge for me. Learn to let that stuff go, is the lesson I’ve learnt the hard way. You don’t have time to people please, stay focused. Please yourselves.
2. Keep Schtum & Keep it Simple
Again, this one is tricky. Especially if you’re a talkative or natural soul bearer type, or just terrible at keeping ‘secrets’. But it really does help to not let suppliers know it’s a wedding. I booked caterers, music and a teepee by telling suppliers it was a ‘private function. That way I didn’t get bombarded with wedding extras. Once all the detail and budget is locked in you can make your full disclosure.
3. Still White and Get Pinning
Forget bridal boutiques with waiting lists for appointments. It’s all a bit late eighties. We’ve all moved on. Take a look at Still White – it’s a fab marketplace where you can find your dream dress, second hand online. Have a look on the UK high street, many stores are doing bridal collections online. Whistles, Topshop and of course Net a Porter have a fab edit of the best ready to wear gowns in town. Finally, doing the Pinterest hard yards could be the answer to finding your perfect dress. It was for me. I found ‘the one’ -the Chloe gown by New Zealand Label Rue de Seine via a late night pinning session and then tracked down a northern stockist called Jean Jackson Couture and bought their sample gown.
4. Don’t get Crafty
I can’t tell you how many people said you should hand make this or arrange your own flowers. Well meaning advice I’m sure, but honestly you don’t have time to pluck meadow flowers and arrange them in jam jars or create bespoke place cards – let someone else handle it for you.
5. Cut the Tradition
Rather than cutting the cake, why not cut out the tradition? I wasn’t ‘given away’ by anyone. My dad has passed away and my brother couldn’t make it over from Sydney so I just walked to my new hubby solo. It felt liberating! We didn’t have a wedding cake although my mum was desperate to make one – it would have just added to the fuss factor. We didn’t have a first dance – too much pressure of all eyes on us. No throwing the bouquet? That’s okay! We didn’t do any of the ‘traditional’ stuff and guess what, the world didn’t stop turning! A few people gave me sad eyes saying; “Oh it’s a shame you’re not able to make it like a proper wedding”. Frown face. I didn’t respond.