Since it’s St V’s day, I thought I’d take the opportunity to look at my own relationship. Sometimes we get caught up in what our partner ought to be doing or should be like, creating fantasies and piecing together a perfect jigsaw of perfection all the while forgetting that their flaws are often what we are also attracted to. Here’s my balanced assessment of the good and the bad of our everyday existence, the yin and the yang.
- Valentine Veto. “We don’t do Valentine’s Day” apparently. I understand his reasons like “it’s commercial tosh and I love you everyday, I don’t need a designated day to declare it…” etc. Hmmm I’m not buying his moral high ground. Yes, I mean I’m inclined to agree with him in some regards it is all a bit cheesy and cringe but I’m not suggesting we sit having a Valentine’s Day romantic meal experience with 50 other couples brandishing a single red rose gifting one another a teddy bear holding a heart. Would he tell his mum, he doesn’t do Mother’s Day, I doubt it!
- Baby Hysteria. He manages to wind up the baby to the point of hysteria just before bedtime, without fail. Blowing raspberries, flying around the room and tickles is not the peaceful, sweet lullaby approach nor a smooth transition from the bath to settling little one to sleep. Putting him in his cot and expecting a 6 month old who has had the adrenaline equivalent of 6 cans of Red Bull energy drink and done a skydive to drift gently off to sleep ‘aint happening!
- Marriage Indifference. If I tentatively ask “do you want to get married” as a loaded, probing question. His standard reply is “yeah, we can do if you want to”. Wow, who said romance is dead! It’s impossible not to appear slightly neurotic when I reply “Well I would if you asked me, but I want you to want to get married”. Cue eye rolls and well, you get the idea.
- Shop-shy. His complete inability to browse in shops. He literally won’t step foot in a retail outlet unless there is a very specific item he/we need to buy. It’s so frustrating, it’s impossible to go to a craft or farmers market and absorb the atmosphere, chat to stallholders and come away with a souvenir purchase of a jar of honey or an art postcard. Instead we frogmarch around begrudgingly, complaining about the waste of time and proclaiming internet shopping as a bloke’s best friend. Oh how I’d love him to love shopping!
4 Things I Love About Him
- True Love. He seems to genuinely love me the most when I’m just being me. At first I thought maybe it was just an act, something he said and didn’t really mean, just trying to win brownie points. Although it does still seem to be the case that he loves me in no make up and pyjamas or slightly sweaty with scruffy hair coming back from yoga. When I feel at my least glamorous he seems to appreciate my beauty the most.
- Laughter therapy. He makes me laugh. This needs no explanation but love and laughter are intrinsically linked and I can’t resist his sarcastic, dry humour.
- Positive vibes. He might not walk around with a perma-smile but he is the most positive, glass half full person I know. He sees solutions not problems and inspires me everyday in his desire to make the world a better place through tackling climate change.
- Double trouble. I love him the most, when I overhear him saying to the cub “Shhh, pretend you were just being a good, quiet baby, mummy’s coming” and when I greet them they’ve both got cheeky faces full of mischief.